“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” –Steve Jobs (in Remembering Steve Jobs’ Insights)
So I haven’t settled and I’m happy. With work, love, and life – I have never settled for anything less than what I want it to be and, despite having less stability than ever before, I have the type of emotionally-natured stability that will stand me in good stead for the future.
I’m currently living in a flat in Little Venice with The Georgian Model, The Ghanaian Model, and her brother and it’s nice. My work is freelance events jobs and I have rebuffed the idea of getting a 9-to-5 until I sort out what I actually want to do and that’s fine.
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“I don’t think you’re an idiot at all. I mean, there are elements of the ridiculous about you. Your mother’s pretty interesting. And you really are an appallingly bad public speaker. And, um, you tend to let whatever is in your head come out of your mouth without much consideration for the consequences. But the thing is, um, what I’m trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you very much. Just as you are.” Mark Darcy, Bridget Jones Diary (2001)
Ahh romance. Not what is was but maybe it is actually found in a person who appreciates you and sticks by you; with all your faults, mistakes and idiosyncrasies. So here I am, four months on since my last Bucket List Diary post, lying beneath the hot Indian Summer heat on a balmy October evening bikini-clad on the 19th century balcony veranda of the glorious Stoke Park’s Lancelot Suite. www.stokepark.com
And, I am not alone. No, The Publisher has found romance and love in a friendship with one of those rare human beings who like you “just the way you are” which is so well-encapsulated by my fellow bikini-bearing partner in crime “Miss Bardot” (Notting Hill’s answer to the modern-day sultry minx du jour).
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“We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.” ~Anaïs Nin
Pure clarity could be easily achieved if it wasn’t clouded by emotion. Unfortunately, objective perspective is probably difficult to grasp even for the most clear-headed sociopath…
I stopped writing for a while. Not because I no longer enjoyed it but because I didn’t know why I was writing anymore or for whom.
I started writing this Bucket List Diary on behalf of a heart-wrenching break-up with the one person in this world who I thought loved me more than anything and anyone else. But you know what? With hindsight, that love was based on a romantic relationship and, without that tie, that love which I thought was forever is fading and the ones who love me now are my family and close friends.
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“I’m nowhere when I’m without you” Ben Bronfman
I am always running; to or away from what I cannot place. I captured the art of stillness once when I was with The Ex but I got restless and needed to move again.
I have been running in fast motion for a year and a half since my breakup and I am finally realising that everything around me is going to be okay. I am going to be okay.
I discovered this video which was used for a Halston runway clip of Fall 2009 “You’re the One” by Ben Bronfman on the Imagine Fashion website.
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Last Wednesday I attended the cocktail party and Gala at the Royal Albert Hall for Mikhail Gorbachev’s 80th Birthday celebration. Among the invitees were Shimon Peres, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kevin Spacey, Sharon Stone and Lech Walesa, to name a few. The next morning most of the papers and magazines (myself included for cosmopolitan.co.uk) reported precisely on these big celebrities and what they said and did on the night. Sharon Stone pulled Kevin Spacey on stage to fill in air time. Spacey impersonated Arny, Jack Nicholson and Samuel Jackson and Milla Jovovich got teary eyed while giving her thanks to Gorbachev. Perhaps this is why I wanted to blog about what really made an impression on me and that’s the man of the evening and his legacy.
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Finally, the temperatures have risen by a few degree, the sun is out, the flowers are in bloom and the parks that seemed for months forgotten are once again taken over by visitors and residents alike all competing for their little bit of green. There is something about spring that makes me want to dance, as if dancing was the only way that I could possibly burn the energy and excitement I feel. Perhaps, it is because living in England means that I hardly ever see the sun between the months of October to March. Whatever the cause I know that last week as I sat in the park reading a book or laughing with friends, I felt absolutely giddy with delight.
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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”- Anais Nin
The Party Planner said that I have the temper of a cocaine-addict.
I have never actually tried cocaine however I am guessing that this observation is not a good one. I actually found an interesting study on cocaine which examines anger with chronic cocaine use. “The high prevalence of anger, impulsivity, and violence in cocaine addiction implicates chronic cocaine use in the compromise of higher-order inhibitory control neurocognitive processes” www.bnl.gov/neuropsychology/files/pdf/Anger_PsychRes05.pdf. Umm, guess this means that I need to chill out a little bit…
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“Change is the only constant”
Ηράκλειτος (Herakleitos; Heraclitus) of Ephesus (c.535 BC – 475 BC)
What is about tragedy that puts things in perspective?
The last two weeks have been truly harrowing – for me, for my friends, and for the world. I don’t know if there is apocalypse going on, if the super moon is affecting the balance, or if I have just simply broken my self-made bubble and opened my eyes to reality.
From tragic deaths and fatal illnesses to destruction, violence, and war with the tsunami in Japan and the onslaught of the Libyan/Gaddafi massacre, what doomsday story is not happening at the moment?!
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I was telling a friend today how I was looking forward to attending a performance by Punchdrunk tomorrow and how she should go online and see if she could get a ticket, when she asked me ‘what in god’s name is a punchdrunk?’ and it occured to me that I had to share the news! In case you haven’t heard Punchdrunk, is the revolutionary UK-originated immersive theatre group, that became the talk of the town in 2009 with their sell-out hit “Tunnel 228″ which was a co-production with Kevin Spacey and the Old Vic and was performed in the tunnels round the back of Waterloo station.
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“I’m tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and bitchin” Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen is having a major car crash moment, publicly recorded on TV for the world to see and he is coming up with some of the greatest, most arrogant, hilarious, self-congratulatory, delusional statements I have ever heard. I am not a fan. Purely because I understand that he has beaten a woman however this is a Hollywood moment that has been captured at its peak and is being followed by millions.
Like I stated in Bucket List Diary: Car Crash, human suffering is fascinating and it is also a great escape watching another’s suffering as it puts things in perspective. There is always someone out there who is worse off which is why I refuse to read the news as well as watch the movie ‘Precious’. There is enough to deal with in one’s own life which is why reality television is a good distraction from real life as it is a balance between entertainment and bad news. Another good escape is throwing a bitchin’ party! And so I did…err again.
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